Moving-in-with-the-in-laws? During these difficult times, you may find it necessary to temporarily move in with your spouse’s parents until you can get back on track. Making this move is most likely a last resort for most. Staying with in-laws brings a whole set of challenges you never thought you would ever have to deal with.
Living in close quarters tests the most free spirited individual. Toxic personas tend to try and control and manipulate most everyone in their orbit. They look to find faults with everything and anything that invades their space.
Follow these tips to help you maintain a healthy balance with your loved ones during your stay.
Respect is your best ally when the going gets tough. Treating your in-laws with respect and dignity goes a long way towards making this challenging time go smoothly for all concerned.
Remember you’re a guest here and need to make adjustments. This situation needs to work well for everyone. The key is to be considerate and be sure to keep folks informed about what you’re up to.
- Don’t take up too much space or monopolize the TV or kitchen.
- When you’re not going to be home for dinner, reach out and make sure you’ve let everyone know well in advance.
- Remember to always knock on closed doors and respect each other’s privacy.
Before drawing a line in the sand, be sure to talk with your spouse first. Setting boundaries is necessary to make this stay work. Consider your in-laws’ needs and balance that against what’s important to you and your loved ones.
Don’t let the situation drag you down. Be mindful that when you can’t find common ground, keep your distance. Simply avoid these meddling malcontents whenever possible. Invariably you will need to maintain a level of respect and dignity being that you all share the same space.
KNOW THE WARNING SIGNS!
There are a few warning signs you need to identify during this very difficult time.
- In-laws try to exercise control over your married life, then try to pit you against each other.
- They always put you down and find fault with the way you do most everything. Remember to tactfully extract yourself from the situation and find a safe space.
- They don’t respect your privacy or boundarie. Do your in-laws walk into your bedroom without knocking?
When setting boundaries, be sure to clearly communicate where those lines are. Make sure you balance things out by spending time with the in-laws each week or when it’s best for all concerned. Once a plan is in place do your best not to cancel. Create an expectation and meet it, that will go a long way to earning trust and respect.
- Listen to what is being said, respond in thoughtful respectful ways.
- Don’t be a burden, take on chores and tasks that smooth things over with the in-laws.
- Discuss living costs to know which expenses you’ll need to cover.
- Have a conversation with your partner about what you expect from them in the household.
- Respect everyones’ values and be mindful of their personal space as well.
- Don’t take others’ negative comments personally, be careful what is said. Talk it out with your spouse privately.
- Be careful with your words when talking to your spouse about their parents. Your in-laws are two of the most important people in your partner’s life.
- Find ways to counter potential conflict by going out for a drive with your spouse, so you can figure out how to deal with the latest crisis.
- Set aside a night each week or month to spend with just your spouse. This gives you and your in–laws a break from one another.
Talk to your partner if you notice any of these signs. You have to stand together as a couple, be honest about how you feel about your situation. Listen, and explain your concerns. These are the moments that test your marriage, be thoughtful and strategic with your decisions. Your marriage and happiness is always the top priority.
ESTABLISH RULES & ROUTINES
It’s important that rules be well-established before moving into your in-laws. Know the ‘house rules’ in advance if possible. Respecting the rules goes a long way to keeping the peace during this temporary transitional time.
Plan out who takes showers when, as well as who’s turn it is to make dinner. Consider having your laundry done by a service to limit the amount of work done in the house. Find ways to make this situation pleasant and stress free.
SECURE A SELF STORAGE UNIT
A low cost, convenient solution is to secure a self storage unit. Pack up your belongings that can be stored temporarily and only bring the base clothes and necessities you’ll need while staying with your in-laws.
A self-storage unit provides a secure transitional space for any valued personal items temporarily. Consider storing your extra vehicle in a storage facility to limit the number of cars in the driveway while staying with loved ones. Self-storage units are available in a wide range of sizes, and rental contracts may cover both short and longer terms of storage.
REMEMBER WHAT’S IMPORTANT
Never compromise the special relationship you have with your loved ones. If the situation becomes too much of a strain, you may need to find other living arrangements. Survive and thrive!
About Montgomery Self Storage
Montgomery Self Storage is your local neighborhood mom and pop self storage center. Making people’s lives easier for 15 years.
Enjoy peace of mind knowing that your unit is monitored by a closed-circuit video surveillance system. The facility is routinely checked for pests and all units are well-lit and super-clean.
Montgomery Self Storage follows state and federal guidelines for social distancing and sanitation. The health and safety of our customers and employees is our highest priority.
Please stay safe during your move.
Book a unit online or call our friendly staff.
Montgomery Self Storage
9 Factory Street, Montgomery, NY 12549
Phone: (845) 457-6229